Lisa

As we near the end of the year, we become reflective about our lives and events and sometimes our friends.

Lisa, aka The Villas Girl, is a very special person.

I met her fifteen years ago when she came to work in the Planning and Zoning Office, where I had been working for some time. It was the first time I had anyone working with me there, except for the Department Head. The Township was growing fast. It was no longer the sleepy, semi-rural town it once was. Land development was booming.

From the start, Lisa and I worked well together. She was a fast learner and never hesitated to take on anything new. She had good common sense and good instincts. Her attitude toward the members of the public who appeared at our office window all day long was friendly and helpful - a refreshing change from that of many civil servants who seem to feel the public is made up of fools whose presence is just to annoy the workers. Lisa generally greets people with a smile and asks, "How are you doing today?", with genuine interest. An amazing number of contractors, farmers, realtors, etc. would tell us when their business was done, that they wanted to thank us for not treating them as they were treated in other municipalities. Lisa and I both took pride in that.

Despite our differing backgrounds, Lisa and I found many interests in common, similar attitudes toward people and work related situations, and we continued to get along very well.

Nine years ago (Can it really be that long?) I retired. I sold my house and moved to a much smaller one. I was very pleased to find that my new home is on the street where Lisa lives. It was on what was at that time a quiet little block, with most houses standing vacant all winter, owned by "summer people". It was good to have a friend living nearby.

Lisa is much younger than I. I have come to think of her as another daughter. We share a love of nature and enjoy exploring nature trails and sites together, and share an interest in photography. I delight in her talent with a camera. She has become a truly fine photographer. But she doesn't like having her own picture shown. (She is there, at the end of the path.)

We talk almost every day, which means much to me, since half of my family lives far away, and most of my old friends are no longer living. And I love hearing all the news from the Township offices - good and bad. She calls me sometimes to rant about some new situation there - political or personal - and I enjoy hearing that too, since I know the personalities involved and understand what she is dealing with. They were once my problems.

As I grow older and my health has deteriorated, Lisa has been so helpful and concerned. She has "rescued" me often when I have been in need of it, or have done something stupid (like locking my keys in my car).

I have seldom known anyone so honest and loyal, hard-working and conscientious as Lisa. Nor as loving. She is a natural care-giver. She has looked after her family and friends with great devotion, and expends the same devotion on her pets. And me. I love the girl.

Wyetta

I've been thinking so much of my dear friend, Wyetta lately. As I've mentioned before, she has been a long, long time in hospitals and nursing homes, and is now in a convalescent and rehab facility. It's a nice place. The staff seems very nice, and she has made many friends there. But of course, it isn't home. And it isn't near enough that I can visit her there often. It is near most of my doctors, so whenever I have an appointment I try to make a visit to her as well.

In recent months I haven't made many visits. We have spoken on the phone and I have written letters. Sometimes I do email her as well, but she has a problem with the computer and has not been able to email me except on rare occasions. I miss her so much. And yesterday I received a very brief email from her, telling me that she misses me.

We met in 1978, when we worked together in a part time job. I had just moved to New Jersey from New York. Wyetta was the first real friend I made here, and has become the friend dearest to me. We share so much. It breaks my heart not to be able to see her more often. This is how she looked back in those days. Her smile can light up any room, and it's infectious.

We shared a love for photography and of the outdoors, and we found lots of ways to combine those two interests, taking the children and exploring our world. How I miss those days. How I miss our visits, sitting at her kitchen table, looking at photos and talking. I have more in common with her than I have ever had with anyone else except my husband. I have another dear friend, Lisa, whom you know as the Villas Girl, and I love her too, but feel more as if she is "my other daughter". I value her friendship very highly and she has been my mainstay for a long time. Do not know what I would do without her. But even though Wyetta is young enough to be my daughter, she seems for some reason to be more my contemporary. I have other good friends, but the few who are still living are scattered over the country from Florida to Hawaii, and we no longer meet. So these days I feel I have only my two friends, Lisa and Wyetta, and one of them is out of reach most of the time.

It is hard to feel so helpless to reach out to my friend. Wyetta not only has been far from home for such a long time, at present she is unable to speak. She cannot call, has trouble writing, and often even trouble trying to email. It must be so frustrating for her. I am very grateful that she is at least in fairly pleasant surroundings and among good people. But I want to be there to give her a hug more often.

Good Friends

Good friends make such a difference in our lives. I've been blessed with many good friends throughout my life. Joan was my best friend from first grade, all the way through high school. We shared just about everything together for twelve years - all of the silly things, fun things, semi-tragic things, secret things, wonderful things that children and teens share. After high school, she went away to college and I went to work. We remain friends to this day, although in recent years it has become the occasional letter and a few pictures, a much less personal sort of thing.


In my twenties there were two very good friends, Nancy and Eileen, with whom I became very close. Interestingly enough, they were not friends with one another. They lived in very different worlds, and I was privileged to share both. I am very grateful to have had both experiences. Eileen was to become maid of honor in my wedding a few years later. And yes, I am still close friends with both, but long distance. One is in Arizona and one in Hawaii.


Early in my marriage I met Pat. She was the best friend among many during the years when we were raising our children. Mutual support with other mothers of small children can mean so much as we struggle with the myriad of problems and questions we have as we learn how to deal with these little people who are so dependent on us. Sadly, I am no longer in touch with Pat She moved far away and has chosen to cut off communication with old friends, following a family tragedy.


Two years after my husband's death, when we moved to New Jersey, it was like moving into another world and another life. The first real friend I made here was Wyetta. She has remained my closest friend for the past thirty-one years. I am constantly amazed at how much we have in common, despite our vastly different backgrounds. I miss having her nearby. She has been in hospitals or convalescent homes for two years now. I visit as often as I am able. I took this picture a couple of days ago.


Some years ago - I'm not sure exactly how many - Lisa came to work in the same office with me. We liked one another, and found that we could work together very easily. We became good friends, and remained so after my retirement, despite our age difference. Lisa is the same age as my children. Our relationship is somewhere between best friend and mother-daughter. I call her my "other daughter". We now live on the same street, and she looks out for me, worrying over me if my car is gone from the driveway too long or if I forget to turn out the outside light in the morning. She calls me every day, and I look forward to her chats. (And she keeps me up on the gossip from the old office.) We enjoy nature walks together, and she asks me to join her on lots of little expeditions. Every so often I manage to do something stupid, like locking myself out of the house, or locking my car keys in the trunk when I'm far from home. (Yes, it's true. I've done that.) But I can always call Lisa to come to the rescue.

Last night she came over and put up a new curtain rod for me. It's frustrating not even to be able to get up on a little step stool to do something like that, but she hung the curtain for me. I have no idea what it would be like for me if I did not have a friend like Lisa now. No - not "like Lisa". Just Lisa. She's one in a million.


And when she got up on that step stool, she said, "No pictures!" Oh well.