Nothing in Particular

I was sitting in a doctor's waiting room the other day. The doctor had called in to say he would be delayed at the hospital, so I chatted with the receptionist for a while. Then, one by one, the next patients began arriving, and we chatted with one another. Well, most of us did. I often wonder why some people cannot chat with strangers, and seem to feel so uncomfortable in their presence.

Most of us told one another where we were from, and inevitably, we found others from the same areas we knew. It always gives me a chuckle when people start telling me what street they lived on or what school or church they attended, seeming to be so sure that I will be able to identify them. I was born in Pennsylvania - in a suburb of Philadelphia, but I haven't lived there for the last fifty years. I can almost guarantee that I will not be able to remember the pizza parlor - "You know - the one right down the street from the school." Fifty years ago, that parlor did not exist, nor was the school built. Ex-residents of South Philly seem to be the most puzzled by my lack of knowledge. How can I not know where the movie theater was? Or the ice cream parlor? There are a whole lot of people from Philly, retired to south Jersey.

When I explain how long it has been since I frequented the neighborhood, they often switch to where we live now. Then the discussion often turns to the wind off the bay. Everyone has a story to tell about the winds. And next it's the tourists and how prices in shops and gas stations rise in the summer and it isn't fair to the locals. Years before I moved here, I recall my sister going to the super market and stocking up on laundry detergent and other non-perishables before Memorial Day when prices would rise.

I don't mind the small talk at all. Sometimes really enjoy it, depending on the personalities I run into. Of course, there is occasionally the patient who wants to tell you all about whatever ailment brought them there that day. Not good. But when you reach a certain age, and live alone, these little interludes of socializing, however shallow the conversation, can be quite pleasant. It doesn't have to be a doctor's office. In a tourist town, strangers everywhere tend to be willing to relax and talk with anyone they meet. I have had some really fascinating conversations with people whose names I never learned, sitting at the end of the boardwalk, or along a nature trail, or watching the sun set over the bay.

If the stranger happens to be from New York, it's a whole different story. I lived on the south shore of Long Island for twenty-one years. This, of course, does NOT make me a native New Yorker. They are a special breed. But when they move away from their home state, or even if they have just temporarily been torn from its bosom, they are always eager and excited to talk about it. Their eyes light up and there is that happy little tone that tells you they are going to talk about HOME! I love it.

People from the midwest, on the other hand, seem to have an almost defiant tone in talking about their homes. They often seem to be challenging you to say something bad about it. I wonder if they often run into others who try to speak ill of that part of the world? Why else would so many of them take that attitude? Or am I letting my imagination run away with me? It just seems to me most of those I have met from the midwest are daring me to say something. I have nothing bad to say about them or their homes. They're nice people. And I'm as interested in where they come from as I am about every other place. I haven't had much opportunity to visit there. The nearest I've come to it is a visit to a friend at a college in Indiana, years ago.

People from Alaska are interesting. (Except for Ms.Palin. Well, she's interesting but not in a good way. Too vulgar and ignorant for my taste.) I've known quite a few people from Alaska. We have a big Coast Guard base here, you know. The Coasties are usually fun to talk to. I've always thought I'd love to visit Alaska.

The most difficult time for me - and I haven't done this in a long while - would be a plane trip, seated next to someone who does NOT want to talk. I don't have to talk constantly, but it just doesn't seem natural to me not to speak to the person next to you for hours on end. If they want to sleep - that's fine. If they want to read, that's fine too. But in that close proximity, for Pete's sake! smile and say hello, and exchange a little banter every so often. Trains are better. People on trains usually seem eager to talk.

Enough of this idle chatter.

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It occurs to me that some readers might take some of this the wrong way. I do not mean to label people from different regions. I would never want to do that. I am simply making observations based on my own limited experience with people I have met. I am very aware that everyone from the same part of the country is not like everyone else. My own back goes up if anyone tries to put me into a neat little box labeled.....whatever.