How Bad Was It? No, Really

I have just experienced another weekend during which my children told me how terrible things were when they were growing up. Before anyone says anything - of course they were doing it in fun - sort of - and stretching the truth a bit - and taking advantage of the fact that Mom is getting old and can't remember things too well much of the time. And of course we were a happy family. And of course children remember things differently than adults. I know all that. If I didn't know it because of anything else, I would because I was a kid once too, and know that I do not remember things the way my parents did.

This time I was spared the full force of the situation, because there were only two of them here - Ruth and Rita. When they went over to Joe's house, I stayed home this time. And Kitty wasn't here. So they didn't all four have a chance to gang up on me as they often do. But I still got some of it. It's either "Let's make fun of Mom", or, "I remember when Mom used to tell us..." or some terrible things I used to cook or do or refuse to let them do. And even though we're all laughing, I begin to wonder just how terrible a mother I was. I honestly do not remember much of what they tell me, and cannot imagine myself doing or saying some of these things I am alleged to have said.

Then I remember my own mother, and things she used to tell me, and realize that she didn't remember things the same way I did, and often did deny things that I remembered later as I grew up.

Rita would tell me, "You always used to tell us..." And I swear up and down that I would never have said such a thing. But I probably did, though I honestly cannot remember it nor imagine myself saying it. Times change. We change and grow with them. But why can I not recall them as they really were? Or were they not really the way my children recall them? Are they remembering wrong, influenced by their own perspective at the time? Maybe it isn't just poor old Mom whose mind is clouded by time.

But they have to have their fun - or is it their revenge? And I don't argue with them about it... much.

While Ruth was here, I showed her my toonlets. She was interested enough to try it, and that was it. She spent a LOT of time on the computer, creating her own characters and comic strips. She did a great job of it too. With her sense of humor and story-telling ability, she'll be a star in no time. This is her own version of herself on the right. The version I made of her earlier is the more sophisticated one on the left.

Well, regardless of whether their version of our family life, or mine, is the correct one, they all managed to grow up to be really great adults. I'm very proud of each one of them. And we all seem to be happy with our relationships with one another. I guess I can't ask for much more than that.

And one of these days I'll probably be including a toonlet by Ruth in a post. My own have been mostly involving the four year old grandson, and done for his benefit, but hers may be more on the adult level and more post-worthy. And funny too! Time will tell.

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Here's a bonus, just because I feel like it.