Thursday, January 7, 2010

Almost There

That is how I named my post, two years ago today. The words have a number of meanings for me. When I started, I did believe that I was almost there - my ultimate destination. As a matter of fact, I still feel that way. Could be wrong of course. That's been known to happen before.

I hate to sound like my mother. She told us so many, many times, over a period of years, that she would not be with us much longer. Whether she believed that, or had her own motives for wanting us to believe it, I guess we will never know. We learned to ignore it most of the time. No, I don't want to sound like that. But it was part of my own reason for the blog name. I didn't think I was really quite ready to move on at that time, but I didn't believe it would be quite this long. More recently, I do believe it won't be long. I'm not in any hurry, but I am ready whenever the time comes, and quite content.

Oh, we are never really "ready". There are many things I would like to finish, mostly to make it easier for those I leave behind. But I have resigned myself to the fact that I've left those things too late. I am no longer capable of finishing the job, in that sense. Sorry about that. But I have lived a long, full, and very happy lifetime. I have been far more fortunate than most in so many ways. And it is enough.

I love my children and my grandchildren very much of course, and I am satisfied that they can all take very good care of themselves now, so my job is done. I love my friends - such good friends - and thank them from the bottom of my heart just for being who they are, and allowing me the privilege of being part of their lives for a while.

No one on this planet knows what comes next. It's the last great adventure, isn't it? Each of us knows what he wants to believe. I want to believe that I will be with those I love who have gone before, and that some part of me will still be around, watching all of you, and loving you as much as ever.

Gee, I'm beginning to sound morbid. That's certainly not my intention. I don't feel that way in the least. No tears necessary. It's all good. But I am kind of looking forward to whatever comes next, and feel as if I'm almost there. If I'm wrong - OK. That's good too. You just never know what's around the next corner, do you? It's usually something pretty interesting.

My blog is just two years old. 2010 is only a week old. Have to wonder where they are both headed, and what I will be doing as each of them goes on. When I was young I was so sure of where I was going. Now I just take each day as it comes and try to make the most of it. Go with the flow, as they say. And this post is wandering off and becoming very weird. Probably should have stopped a paragraph or so back, or maybe never started it at all. I think that I will end it right here, and go think of something else to talk about.

I wasn't going to put this toon in my blog - just made it for myself - but, what the heck. Must be the introspective thing that comes with the start of a new year.


Anonymous said...

I hope the turtles all make it and their hatchlings too. We need lots of creatures in the sea. I am afraid mankind in his many lusts has other ideas.

agreenearth said...

Calling over from `Thinking Green' to wish you a wonderful New Year.

Hope all the turtles make it, the sea is certainly not what it used to be. said...

I love this toon Bobbbie! & I love what you have written. I always thought the name of your blog was a reference to being ready for the next big adventure!
You have such a positive attitude, it's infectious.
& I'm glad you and your blog have been around longer than you expected. I really enjoy your company in the blogosphere!

Kay said...

Wow! Bobbie, this was a very meaningful post. My mom keeps telling me not to buy this or that for her because she probably won't be around to use it very long. I don't feel she says these things for pity. I believe she's just practical. For myself, I don't know when I'll be Almost There. I do feel like I'm in limbo right now...maybe it's just retirement. I'm not ready yet for the next chapter because there's too much I want to see yet. I do like how you look at things thoughtfully, peacefully.

Rambling Woods said...

This is a very moving post Bobbie..I didn't find it morbid but very forthright which I have found to be you. I have been thinking about death lately with my neighbor dying. She says she isn't worried as she has her faith..but there is always more to do...I hope you are with us for a long time Bobbie. You have a lot of love and wisdom left to share... Luv..Michelle