Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Think Green Thursday
Many thanks to Michelle for hosting Think Green Thursday.
Sorry, but I'm still not up to par. So I'm going to print this today. I received it in my email, and I think it's funny, but also, in its way, very appropriate for Think Green.
GOD AND LAWNCARE
GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on Planet Earth? What happened to dandelions, violets and milkweed, and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought, and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now, but all I see are those green rectangles.
ST FRANCIS: It's those tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees. Only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plants that crop up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably makes grass grow really fast. That must make them happy.
ST FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST FRANCIS: No, Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow, then when it does grow they cut it off and pay to throw it away.
ST FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.
ST FRANCIS: You had better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD: No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something called mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this any more.
St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a story about....
GOD: Never mind. I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
Think about it. Maybe a compost pile would be a good idea?