Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Second Award

The second award for the year's end came to me from Lisa, The Butterfly Farmer.

This one is more serious, and much harder to comply with. You are asked to list ten honest things about yourself. I suppose this could also be taken rather lightly. But I didn't think of it that way - especially since I read the lists of a couple of other people, and they were quite serious. So, here goes.

l. Forgiveness. This is a concept I have trouble with. I try- I really do. But I find it difficult, if not impossible to forgive Amanda, who was the woman my father married after my parents' divorce. The same thing goes for one of my nieces, for the way she treated my sister. And then of course there are people like GWB. I find it hard to forgive him. And Adolf Hitler and so many others throughout history for their crimes against humanity. How do I forgive that sort of thing? I wrestle with that idea.

2. Prejudice. Everyone has them. Me too. I think my strongest prejudice is against prejudice itself. For instance: within so many religious groups are those who truly believe that their way is the only way, and the rest of us poor souls are doomed to hell. "Born agains" have told me they can't even pray for those who do not believe their way. Yes, I am prejudiced.

3. Honestly, I spent too many years searching for a religious group to call my own. I was raised in the Episcopal Church. Attended the Lutheran Church with my best friend, and joined them. Had occasion to attend many others. In 9th grade I wrote a thesis on Comparative Religions. Much later became a Catholic, but was soon disillusioned there. I have for some years now found peace in realizing that my Faith is my own, and am very comfortable in my present relationship with God, without attending any formal church.

4. On a less deep and possible disturbing note - I am a terrible housekeeper. I've always said my house is clean, just not neat and tidy. More recently, since I cannot do some of the physical chores I used to, I'm not too sure it is even clean. My daughter's visit over the holidays took care of some of that part, thank heaven. But there will always be piles of paper, and things not put away because I will want to use them again soon.

5. I can't drink. I enjoy a drink on occasion, but I can't take more than one. Well, maybe one and a half. More than that, and I'm tipsy. I don't like being tipsy.

6. I am never really comfortable in a really fancy restaurant. Can't relax. I don't really enjoy being waited on, there or anywhere else. I like to do things for myself. Well, it's just as well. Being diabetic, I shouldn't eat all those sauces and things. And they always serve you much too much. I don't eat that much.

7. Speaking my mind. This one works both ways. When I was in high school, I didn't speak my mind enough. I had all these wonderful (or so I thought) ideas and responses running around in my head, but never voiced them. Once I was more or less an adult, I spoke up, probably too often. And now, here I am writing a blog, and may have way too much to say at times.

8. Playing dumb. This started in my teens. I found that there were times during a date when, since most boys were basically nice anyway, if I played dumb when they made suggestive remarks or gestures, they usually decided I was a "nice" girl and cut it out. Then I found when I was out in the working world that the same tactic worked with co-workers and bosses in other situations. Playing dumb can be your best friend.

9. I had two "best friends" throughout my school years. If I have to be honest, only one was my best friend. Or I was to her. The other, I really didn't like all that much. We got along fine. There was just something about her I never really felt comfortable with, and I couldn't quite trust her.

10. Practicality. I am really not practical. Never have been. Guess I never will be.
If I am down to my last couple of dollars, and I have a choice of buying a loaf of bread or a bunch of flowers, I'm going for the flowers every time. I mean, if things are that tight, I'm going to starve to death anyway. Why not have the pretty flowers to enjoy in my last moments?

OK. That's enough honesty for a while. Lisa, it was an interesting exercise. Thank you very much for the award. I'm not going to pass it on. Not this one. But I'm glad you offered it to me. I kind of enjoyed thinking of honest things about myself that I don't normally drag out to view.


Daryl said...

Well done and informative ...

Happy New Year, Bobbie!

Sylvia K said...

Ah, you and I do have a lot in common, particularly where religion is concerned. I was rasied a Methodist, was troubled by what I saw and experienced, tried half a dozen more, finally ended up becoming a Catholic found the same things you found. I haven't belonged to a church in many, many years. Spiritual I am and I'm very happy with that -- you may be one of the few people that understands that. Have a great New Year!

Dianne said...

A wonderful award as is the one down below - and both are richly deserved.

I loved your list - a few of them surprised me - especially the one about not being practical - I imagined you as very practical. It's nice to learn new things about my blog friends

and I say Amen to speaking up - it is what I love most about you. A strong, wise, careful, and good voice you are Bobbie.

Happy New Year.

Bear Naked said...

What a thought provoking post for the last day of the year!
Happy New Year to you and yours.

Bear((( )))

Cliff said...

I read #1 and decided I'd read enough. Pretty incredible.

Shelly said...

When I saw that Lisa tagged you I know I would really enjoy reading what you wrote...if indeed you chose to participate.
Nodding my head and agreeing with you, from religion to playing dumb...right on down the line.
Well done!

Lisa said...

I was not surprised by most but pleasantly surprised by some.

Thank you Bobbie. It was a lot to ask and I'm glad you shared so much with us.

Maybe it's the holidays, or my current mental state, I don't know... I'm just so darn nostalgic and loving the personal side of people lately.

Cheers to another year of sharing our lives through our blogs.

me ann my camera said...

Bobbie, I have enjoyed your posts immensely over the past year for I always find so much in them to identify with. I also admire greatly your strength in sharing your memories and experiences. You have no idea how many times I got out of line to go and stand beside you.

I hope the year ahead treats you well is full of wonder and beauty.

Happy New Year!

KG said...

Ooooh! Good post. Very good post. And I think that I should play dumb more often ... I can't keep my mouth shut. Ever!